Divorce Discernment Counseling
Shannon Maricielo, LMFTA
In-person couples therapy offered on Bainbridge Island and Telehealth available across Washington State
When You’re Not Sure Whether to Stay or Separate
Some couples reach a point where the question is no longer how to fix things, but whether the relationship should continue at all. One partner may feel ready to leave. The other may want to keep trying. Or both may feel uncertain, exhausted, and afraid of making the wrong decision.
Conversations about the future can feel tense, repetitive, or avoidant. Discussions about separation may escalate quickly or shut down entirely. The pressure to decide can create even more distance and confusion.
When clarity is missing, couples often feel stuck between staying in pain and making a choice they may regret.
Why This Is So Difficult to Navigate Alone
When a relationship feels unstable, emotions tend to run high. Fear, grief, anger, and hope can all be present at the same time. It becomes difficult to separate long-standing patterns from temporary reactions.
Without structure, conversations about staying or leaving often turn into arguments about the past. One partner may push for a decision while the other withdraws. Friends and family may offer strong opinions that add pressure rather than clarity.
Making a thoughtful decision about the future of a relationship requires more than intense conversation. It requires space to understand what has happened, what has changed, and what each partner truly wants moving forward.
In-Person Couples Therapy on Bainbridge Island and Telehealth offered across Washington State
What Becomes Possible Through Discernment Work
Divorce discernment counseling is not about convincing couples to stay together or to separate. It is about creating a clear, contained process for making an intentional decision.
Through this work, couples often gain:
Greater clarity about whether the relationship can be repaired
A deeper understanding of the patterns that led to this point
More productive conversations about the future
Reduced emotional reactivity around the decision
A sense of agency rather than urgency
Whether a couple ultimately chooses to recommit or to separate, the goal is to move forward with thoughtfulness rather than impulse.
Who This Work Is For
Divorce discernment counseling may be helpful if:
One partner is leaning out of the relationship and the other wants to stay
Both partners feel uncertain about continuing but are not ready to make a final decision
You are considering separation but want to avoid a reactive choice
You have tried couples therapy before and are unsure whether it made a difference
You want clarity about whether meaningful change is realistic
This process is best suited for couples who are willing to engage honestly, even if you are not on the same page about the outcome. The goal is not immediate agreement. It is thoughtful decision-making.
I work with couples of many identities and relationship structures, including LGBTQIA+ couples and those in nontraditional or open relationships. All relationships are approached with care, respect, and an affirming, nonjudgmental stance.
Ways to Work Together
Ongoing Couples Therapy
Weekly or biweekly sessions focused on understanding patterns, strengthening connection, and creating sustainable change.
Relationship Intensives
A consolidated therapeutic process for couples who want focused, efficient work in a shorter period of time.
In-Person or Telehealth
Sessions are offered on Bainbridge Island and through secure Telehealth across Washington State.
Take the Next Step
When you are unsure about the future of your relationship, clarity matters. With the right structure and support, it is possible to make decisions that reflect intention rather than overwhelm.
If you are ready to approach this question thoughtfully, I invite you to take the next step.